With Wearied Mind and Child-like Heart

“Strength is happiness. Strength is itself victory. In weakness and cowardice there is no happiness. When you wage a struggle, you might win or you might lose. But regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being.”
--Daisaku Ikeda

Life has not been easy, of that I testify. While I may appear young for my years, my mind is wearied and old. Naiveté --that tender integrity of children whose hearts cannot fathom the wickedness and the cruelty of the world-- no longer dwells within me. For, I have known disloyalty, deception, rejection, poverty, and failure.

 I have watched an incurable disease destroy the existence and soul of an admirable and determined individual. I have spent years in a relationship where I loved and trusted whole-heartedly, and ultimately received deceit and abandonment in return. I have watched a great friendship dwindle because of pride and inconsistency. I have witnessed the treachery and foolishness of companions who knowingly did wrong, but wallowed in his or her dissatisfaction rather that turn away from the source. I have listened to the conversations of others, and the idiocy I overheard has repulsed me.

My mind weighs heavily with such knowledge. Yet, is it not strange how my childish heart has maintained an iota of faith? For, regardless of mankind’s foibles, I strive to love and be loved by those whom I dare to admire; however, only hurt can manifest from such good intentions.  After all, the world is filled with well-intended actions, but the ignorance and fallibility of humanity only warrants further injustice. If man were not by nature sociable creatures, there would be more hermits in this world. For, while transitory happiness is 

attainable in the presence of others, peace of mind consistently lurks in solitude.

Thus, the struggle continues.

Truly,

Eden 

30 Days of Letter Writing: Letter Three

To my parents:

You were over-protective and over-indulging. If not for both of you, I may have never lived and if I had survived I may have wished only to die. Yes, that’s right--this letter is not to my biological parents but to the man and woman who were true parents to me. By my adoptive family, I was nurtured and tenderly guided down the moralistic path. I lacked and yearned for neither love nor material possessions.

Father, I was golden in your eyes---you thought I hung the moon. The sentiment was mutual. You amazed me with your ability to build and fix all things and your patient council. You listened when mother would only lecture. I miss you so much---even your corny jokes and your obnoxiously out-of-tune singing
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Mother, you are the rock I lean on. You keep our household together. All these years, you have been the busy little worker bee. I do appreciate all the little things you do for me. You are such a considerate and humble individual. I love and envy how you can apologize so easily. Life is harder now that dad is gone but he would be disappointed in us if we did not push forward and excel.

Dad, wait and see! I will show you just how golden your little girl is!

Sincerely,
Eden